To Where You Are
by CharmedPeacekeeper
Summary: Bowen reflects on Draco's memory and the things Draco taught him as he comes to terms with Draco's death. Songfic with Josh Groban's To Where You Are. Please RR!


Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'd like to own Dennis Quaid, but that's not possible. Still…I can dream.

To Where You Are

_Who can say for certain  
maybe you're still here  
I feel you all around me  
your memories so clear_

Bowen sat on a boulder by Draco's lair. The sky was clear and the sun was shining, warming his bones but doing nothing to warm his soul or fill the void in his heart. A void that, before his death, had been filled by the presence of the only true friend Bowen had ever known. Draco's presence.

Maybe that was why he came here. This place, with the waterfall and the cool, clear river water, had been Draco's haven. The only place he had ever felt completely safe. Draco's spirit filled the area, bringing with it soothing memories of the days after Bowen had befriended him.

_Deep in the stillness  
I can hear you speak  
you're still an inspiration  
Can it be (?)  
That you are my  
Forever love   
and you are watching over me from up above_

Draco had made a sacrifice so that Bowen could live and Einon could die. He had managed, somehow, to realize that redemption for his sin-giving Einon a chance to live- could only be found at his death. Then and only then could he be reunited with his brothers in the Dragon's Heaven. Bowen understood that.

What he didn't understand was how, even though his only friend was gone, he could still sense him everywhere. Bowen had loved Draco as a brother, and having to watch him die had been the most painful thing Bowen had ever experienced. But when he had asked his friend where he could turn for guidance, Draco hadn't given him a name of a person. He had said "To the stars, Bowen."

Maybe what he had meant was that only his body had died. Maybe he meant that he would be watching from Dragon's Heaven, offering support and guidance. Maybe what he was really saying was that, as long as Bowen didn't forget him, he could live forever in Bowen's heart.

_Fly me up to where you are  
Beyond the distant star  
I wish upon tonight  
To see you smile  
If only for awhile to know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you_ _are _

Bowen wanted so badly to fly. He wanted to speak with Draco one last time, and it seemed if he only wished hard enough, it would come true. He wanted Draco to smile at him and reassure him that no matter hard things got, they would always turn out okay, because he, Draco, would make it okay. In this respect, Bowen felt like a lost child, turning to his brother for guidance and support. He needed reassurance that Draco would always look out for him, and that was something he couldn't have. Not because Draco was dead, but because Bowen was human, and humans tend to only trust what they can see with their own eyes.

_Are you gently sleeping  
Here inside my dream  
And isn't faith believing  
All power can't be seen_

But sometimes, odd as it seemed, it didn't feel as if his brother was gone at all. Bowen wouldn't dare tell anyone, but he still talked to Draco. He spoke to the air, knowing that even if Draco couldn't be there in all his scaly glory, he could still hear him.

And not all power could be seen, could it? Bowen was lucid enough in Church services to understand that. Brother Gilbert trusted in God…why couldn't Bowen trust in Draco's spirit? Wasn't that the meaning of faith? Trusting what you can't see?

_As my heart holds you  
Just one beat away  
I cherish all you gave me everyday  
'Cause you are my  
Forever love  
Watching me from up above_

Bowen always kept Draco's memory close to his heart. He remembered every conversation they had ever had and reflected on how, the longer they had known each other, the more and more their conversations had bridged the gap between their species. Bowen could never forget the lessons Draco had taught him about love, trust, family, honor, laughter, and stereotypes. He never would again look at life the same way after knowing how Draco had seen it. Draco had every reason to be angry at the world, but he wasn't. He was a gentle soul who grieved for his friends and always remembered what they had taught him and did his best to pass it on.

_Fly me up  
To where you are  
Beyond the distant star  
I wish upon tonight  
To see you smile  
If only for awhile  
To know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are_

Maybe, after his death, he would be allowed to visit Dragon's Heaven and see the dragon that was his protector, friend, and his brother. Then perhaps Bowen would find redemption for his own sins. Maybe then his soul would be at peace and he would be as serene as Draco had been. Maybe he would have the courage to accept the things that had happened to him in his life and move on, giving forgiveness to those who had wronged him.

He certainly hoped he would be able to.

_I know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
to where you are_

No, Bowen thought as he stood up and stretched. No, Draco wasn't far at all.

He lived inside of Bowen's heart. All Bowen had to do was remember.


End file.
